Ok, I am going to get a little hoity-toity here, but bear with me I think this is worth the pontification.
It is nice when my peers tell me I am doing the right thing. I like it when I get cultural reassurance, a metaphorical nod in my direction that says, “That was well done, you’re a good person.” However cultural reassurance is not always right and is as flexible as a Cirque du Soleil’ contortionist. If I spend two years working on a wristlock, having my partners honor that technique, being cooperative and everybody in the dojo behaving in that pattern, I have a great amount of cultural reassurance. I feel good about what I am doing, and soon I begin to believe it, I justify in my mind that the technique is rock solid and others join in that dance of cultural reassurance. Then the day comes where the person on the other end of the technique does not dance my dance, they have a far different culture…I am no longer reassured, and in fact I am cracked open, not reassured, in fact I feel betrayed. The question now is, “Should I be angry at myself or the culture that set me up for this failure?” Pause for effect…you should blame yourself. The culture that you have subscribed to is going to do whatever it needs to do to propagate itself, including lie to you, it can’t help it is what it does.
You are responsible to yourself and what you choose to believe and do. Martial Arts schools are bubble baths of cultural reassurance warmly soaking each student in their brand of comfort and truth. That doesn’t mean that your school is wrong or leading you down a path of cultural reassurance, based on falsehood, lies, it means it is doing what it does and you need to decide for yourself what you will accept.
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Very mature post my friend. Who will be ready for it?
I think this is emblematic of “shu-ha-ri.” First, you bask in the acceptance. Next you see there is something beyond the acceptance. Finally you decide to choose acceptance or “beyond.”
I think that’s when we finally strip away style, when we can just be ourselves, expressing our understanding of physical combat, or just being ourselves – again.
This is oh-so-true. And the true test of the individual is how they deal with the realisation if and when it comes.
I got angry at my peers, my instructor and the whole system – to start with because they would only stick work within stylistic boundaries. I burned my boats and, though I honestly don’t feel sad distraught about it, I know I could have handled it better.
After all, the ideal way of handling a self-defence situation is to be able to avoid trouble rather than get into the argument in the first place…
Its all learning though!
Well when I get good bounce from Rory Miller and Matt Stone…well I’m walking pretty tall today.
K-
Its’ like hitting a brick wall and then you feel like all that time has been wasted.
Certainly various emotions will simmer to the surface. Many will not provide an adequate answer, the answers are pre-programmed.
So now the choice… Back to the drawing board.
I think we’re all guilty at times of being “helpful partners”. It’s something worth remembering. When it comes to self defense techniques, ‘cooperation’ is really that helpful after all.
I don’t know if this is really relevant to your original post, but it seems to me that the vast majority of people want to be lied to and convinced that everything is okay and blissfully live with thier heads in the sand, or in a nearby orifice, instead of realizing the plain and simple truth of it all.
I don’t know, just my two cents being thrown in again.
I think the post is a good one, but with 2 caveats:
1. That in an ideal situation, it shouldn’t apply to beginners.
2. Be discriminating in where you look for advice, and give all feedback the ‘internal check’. ‘Does it feel right’ is still important…even if there is the danger of lying to one’s self.