Martial Secrets: Fighting


"I got a good fight for you!"

Filed Under: Blog, cheating, Fighting, lies by Kris Wilder — 6 Comments
March 16, 2010


So one of my brown belts comes to class and says, “I have good fight story for you!” Randy is a plumber and on the job site tempers can flare as the days get long; and, well, they definitely did that day.

Two of Randy’s co-workers had decided to settle their differences with a little fisticuffs. The morning had started poorly and by the afternoon the little verbal barbs had escalated into full-on “F-bombs” going both ways. It had become personal and the fight was on. In one part of the client’s back yard the two squared off; on one side of the small patch of lawn there was Ed, a fifty-year-old U.S. Navy veteran, and on the other side, Don, a twenty-one-year-old buck just ready to go.

Randy said they squared off fists up like boxers and Ed threw the first blow: a steel-toed construction boot kick to Don’s right shin. Don went down as Ed just stood there and let the twenty-one-year-old get back to his feet. “That’s not fair! We’re boxing!” yelled Don. “OK,” said Ed, “We’ll just box now.” They squared up again, hands held up ready to box. Pow! Ed delivered the first strike again: another steel-toed boot to Don’s same shin. Don went down and didn’t get back up to continue the fight.

Ed, the fifty-year-old U.S. Navy man could have jumped on Don when he was on the ground, but he didn’t. There was no point in doing that; Ed had made his point and order was restored on the job site.

Ed had lied to Don, and Don foolishly believed him.

Rules…yeah.

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Stick Logic.

Filed Under: Blog, culture, Fighting, Stick Fighting by Kris Wilder — 4 Comments
July 12, 2009


You know what? I know many martial arts techniques, and I know many ways to expresses those techniques. I have a real large metaphorical toolbox of techniques. I can do this that way, or from this way or upside down for that matter. I can hit this way or that way, turn a fist here, or keep it that way; it does not really matter too much.

However, in my daily martial arts I really apply, “Stick Logic”. Paring my techniques down to a few that really work for me and I have success with, Stick Logic you say? Stick Logic comes from my youth on the farm. Not the name but the idea.

Stick logic reads this way, “I can do a lot with as strong stick.” If I have a strong stick, I can scratch out a water ditch for the garden – I do not need a hoe. If I have a strong stick, while building a fence I can stretch it to make it tighter – I do not have to have a winch. If I have strong stick I can poke, bend and pry, I do not have to have a specialized tool, and martial arts are the same way. It is nice to have specialized tool, it has its place but a strong stick gets you a long, long way. So learn everything you can, do not ever stop learning, fill your tool box with all sorts of special tools, but walk day-to-day with your stick, and apply Stick Logic when it comes to your martial arts techniques.

Here is a fascinating BBC clip of a tribe stick fighting, although a ceremonial fight, you will still see men using the sticks as walking sticks, and clearly it can be assumed as tools in everyday life.

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Guest Blog: Lawrence Kane

Filed Under: Blog, Crime, Fighting, Murder, Violence by Kris Wilder — 4 Comments
June 5, 2009


Last year I blogged about the killing of James Paroline by Brian Keith Brown. Now the court case is all over, sentencing done, and everybody has gone home. I asked Lawrence, my co-author of The Little Black Book of Violence: What Every Young Man Needs to Know About Fighting, to do a guest blog – kind of a wrap-up commentary.

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The traffic circle murder that Kris blogged about late last year is a prime example of what can happen whenever you engauge in violence (Read it here). In short, 60-year-old James Paroline was watering some flowers and three young ladies took umbrage. Name-calling reportedly escalated and the irate girls called their friend Brian Keith Brown, a 28-year-old at the time, who sucker-punched the older man. That single blow broke Paroline’s nose and knocked him to the pavement where he died at the scene from blunt force trauma to the head.

Now that one flash of anger has resulted in an 11-year sentence for James Paroline’s killer, yeah a strong word – killer.

Brown, the killer, filed a letter with King County Superior Court, stating that he felt sickened by what he had done, “I had no intention of causing the death of James Paroline but that I know that but for my actions he would be alive.” (Read more here).

In the heat of the moment it’s easy to throw a punch without considering the consequences. Brown’s case isn’t the only tragedy out there. Sadly, stuff like that happens all the time. It’s important to think, therefore, before you act.

What really is worth fighting for?

Is it worth spending the best years of your life behind bars? Getting crippled, maimed, or possibly even killed as a result of preventable violence? What about declaring bankruptcy after losing a civil lawsuit. Losing the respect of one’s friends and family (oddly however in some families a conviction could be distorted into a mark of valor), being fired from your job, or having to declare that you’re a convicted felon next time you apply for a place to live or try to find work?

The tougher you truly are the less you should feel a need to prove it. Sure, some social codes are inverted, like gang culture, however for most of us the question needs to be, “Is this really worth fighting for,” More often than not it ain’t – walk away.

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